In this posting...
*Pet Hate of the Day
Now read on, Macduff...

It looks as if the Birkheads Ad Hoc Committee made exactly the right decision about AGM VII. Saltwell Park certainly deserves its recent accolade as England’s Best Park and the magnificently restored Saltwell Towers was an augustly appropriate setting for a meeting with the obvious cultural import of a Truckshunters AGM - all brushed slate floors and cappuccinos.

I was going to express my disappointment at the truckshunters whose company was once again missed by all and sundry except that that wouldn’t do nearly enough justice to those who did take the trouble to attend; namely Vivienne, Maureen, Hildie, Sid, the sunshine and yours truly. Truckshunter AGMs are rapidly getting the reputation for being the most fun you can have with your clothes on, even though - as Vivienne calculated unnervingly quickly - the collective age of those round the table was 356. Yes, I know.

The photograph above (why does Hildie always close her eyes at the wrong moment?) was taken by a splendid lady in a foxy purple outfit. Another few minutes and I would have converted her to the Cause. Oh, well.

My thanks once again to everyone who attended; especially for accompanying me to pay homage to our Community Tree - the ginkgo which Gateshead Council has thoughtfully planted next to the maze.

From now on, I think it would be rather jolly to play a couple of rounds of charades, word-for-word, Four Lane Ends or perhaps one of Hildie’s conversational party games. That way, we would cause even more havoc amongst the lunching classes than we do already.

Of the 708,711 live births in England and Wales in 2008, no fewer than 8,007 of the boys were called Jack and 5,317 of the girls were called Olivia, making them the most popular names for babies last year.

The fastest-rising names in popularity were - for boys - Riley, Theo and Blake and - for girls - Lexi, Ava, Isla and Esme.

The top ten pet names are Charlie, Poppy, Molly, Alfie, Max, Jack, Daisy, Ruby, Oscar and Rosie.

Any comment from me about any of this would be in bad taste, gratuitously offensive and - as it happens - unnecessary.

Peter Mandelson.

Post comments on this blog or email me: truckshunters@googlemail.com

...I’ve got loads more to say but I have a stinking cold, it’s after midnight and I’m going to bed. Goodnight.


Hildie said...

I just want to say thanks, Ian, for all our Truckshunter moments, none of which we would ever have had if you had not thought up this crazy idea in the first place. However, I have good news about our collective age ... it is nowhere near Vivienne's calculation
..... you, me, Sid and Vivienne only add up to 246 and Maureen, who is the baby of the family, could possibly bring us up to around 300.
Or, to put it another way, there were five of us present at Saltwell Park .... 356 divided
by 5 equals 71.
You can see what time it is ... I've woken up this morning doing mental arithmatic ... oh, the utter joy of being a Truckshunter!
To get to our final answer we need to use our Phone a Friend option ... Maureen is the only person who knows how old she was yesterday.
Had our AGM been in October the answer would have been different, because our Maureen has a birthday coming up. In fact we have a run of Truckshunter birthdays on the horizon ....
Maureen - October
Lawrence - November
Ian - December
me - January
Vivienne - February.

Cover your head with a towel
and breath some steam, that's
what Dr. Mackay used to say!


Vivienne said...

Hi Folks!

I was always hopeless at mental arithmetic and I haven't improved with age! Yes Hildie, I realized later I'd miscalculated our total ages which is 302 and not 356. Sorry! Look on the bright side ..... we're younger than we thought!

Our friendly photographer did us proud. Thanks Hildie for accosting her too! It's a shame she refused to allow Ian to post a photo of her on the internet. She was such a colourful person.

Ian, I hope you recover quickly from your cold.

To everyone who didn't come along yesterday - 'We missed You!'

Maureen said...

Not a lot to add really, except that I had a good time as always. Our Truckshunter tree will remain in my memory and I will pay it due respect each time I pass in future!
Hildie, I'm afraid that Ian's right (again!) two of the three photos I took show you with eyes firmly closed, maybe you should try sleeping at night?
I like your occaisonal table comment which reminded me of one of the wacky Steven Wright's observations: 'It doesn't make a difference what temperature a room is, it's always room temperature.'
Get well soon Ian, good opportunity to lay off the fags eh? Day one starts here ...

Sid said...

I had been pondering this morning (whilst working my socks off at the allotment) how to tell a woman she was wrong. Having been married for ages, I had come to the conclusion it wasn't worth the aggro. But as you say Vivienne, we're suddenly younger.
I have an occasional table at the allotment, and when the coffee and sandwiches are eaten it reverts back to being a large bit of tree trunk. Is that a good enough answer for you Hildie?

Hildie said...

Hi Maureen
oh, I know ... I'm really sorry, it's quite a challenge for any photographer to catch me with my eyes open. I'm a bit of a problem, I'm sure Ian would say that that's an understatement!

Hi Vivienne
you know you mentioned I hadn't included Murphy and Dora in my comment on blog 169? Please could you pass my apologies on to them? I honestly didn't see height nor hair of them. I think I must have had a touch of the Tynemouths!

Hildie said...

Hi Sid
I didn't think there even was an answer to that question! By, you're clever! You'll definitely get to sharpen all the pencils this Friday!

Vivienne said...

Hi Hildie,

I guess it isn't surprising you missed seeing Murphy & Dora. You had your eyes closed on several of my photos too, though you'll notice I've posted three with your eyes open.

Alison said...

Sorry about your cold.
I adore the leaf image you have with this blog. It is so beautiful.
Kind regards to the Truckshunters.
Alison (the Artist)