278In this blogposting…
*Durham: The Police Box
*Some More Helpful Advice
Cry ‘Havoc!’ and let slip the dogs of war…
DURHAM: THE POLICE BOX
In posting 277 I reminisced wistfully about the strange old days when traffic through the centre of Durham City was controlled from a police box in the Market Place. The ever-resourceful Sid has now sent me an online link to a rare piece of video footage about the police box. It brought back so many memories - and confirmed many of my recollections about bus liveries, as well!
If the link below doesn’t work directly from here, copy and paste it into Google’s ‘Search’ box.
Thanks very much indeed, Sid.
SOME MORE HELPFUL ADVICE
Truckshunter Miles - previously unknown to me - was so impressed with the advice I gave in posting 275 about the avoidance of being struck by lightning that he immediately grabbed his quill (as he puts it) and wrote me a list of the best advice he has had over the years….
Never put off to tomorrow what you can put off to the day after tomorrow
Never believe anything you hear - and only half of what you see
Always look inside your shoes before you put them on
Nobody ever leaves money in the street meaning to go back for it
All cinemas are bigger inside than they are outside
It is always better to give than to receive - because you don’t have to write a Thankyou letter
When in doubt, have a banana
Croquet brings out the worst in people
Always carry a corkscrew with you, for one day you are sure to meet a man with a bottle of wine and no corkscrew
Never applaud a vicar’s sermon - it only encourages them
Everyone would be vegetarian if we left the heads on the animals we eat
Do not expect postmen to write letters
Never go out with anyone who is better at arm-wrestling than you are
Avoid anyone who is interested in amateur dramatics
When someone insults you, think very seriously for a moment about whether he is right or not
There is no point offending your enemy - he is offended already. You would be better off offending a friend
No man is an island - though some are cut off at high tide
Man is the only animal who has ever thought it worthwhile to design and manufacture facsimile dog turds
Never accept second helpings of sloe gin
The more we learn, the more we forget
People who give advice rarely listen to what they themselves are saying
Thankyou Miles; that’s one of the driest and funniest lists I’ve read in ages. More please.
And if anyone would care to add to Miles’ list, please feel free.
Our next AGM will take place at 1100 on Sunday 12 June. I’m not sure where though. In a comment to posting 277, Hildie mentions two suggestions: the Bowes Railway (at Springwell Village) and a new cafe in the park at South Shields.
If anyone knows which of these two we’re meeting at, please get in touch.
Wherever it is, I am absolutely unanimous in declaring that a splendid time is guaranteed for all.
I am on holiday next week so the next blogposting - number 279, for heaven’s sake - will appear the following week. I know how much hardship and mental anguish this will cause to countless thousands of truckshunters and I feel profoundly guilty about it.
However, it would be physically and mentally impossible for me to abandon you to truckshunter cold turkey so, to keep you occupied and safely off the streets, here are three intriguing ‘neurological’ tests sent to me by Eric and Jean, from The Commercial at Tantobie.
First of all...
Can you raed this?
Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid! Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in what oerdr the ltteres in a word are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is that the frsit and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it whotuit a pboerlm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? And I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!
Secondly, find the C in this lot (without help from your computer cursor)…
If you thought that was easy, try finding the 6 in here... 99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
And finally - the trickiest of all...Find the N…
In an emergency, I can be contacted at:
The Dale Winton Home For The Terminally Bewildered
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