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BONFIRE NIGHT

Remember remember
The fifth of November
Gunpowder treason and plot
I see no reason
Why gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot....

These days, of course, you’re far more likely to find Bonfire Night celebrated on the nearest weekend night to November 5 than on November 5 itself. Knowing me as you do, you’re probably expecting me to complain about it being a ‘movable feast’. You know the sort of thing by now....Why can’t we celebrate Bonfire Night on the correct date; on the fifth of November, which is the anniversary of an actual event. It’s as risible as celebrating May Day on the ‘nearest Monday to May 1’, which, incredibly, is what we do in England...

However, on this occasion, I have no intention of complaining. And that’s because I had such a great time on Saturday night in Stamfordham.

For those who don’t know Stamfordham, it’s a large and rather prosperous Northumbrian village 10 or so miles west of Newcastle, deep in the countryside and not far to the north of Hadrian’s Wall.

Over the last few years, the bonfire and fireworks display there has acquired quite a glitzy reputation locally and the village fills up with the cars of ‘tourists’ up to the time the bonfire is lit. I’m never quite sure how a community as comparatively small as Stamfordham manages to build such an imposing bonfire AND manages to prevent it being raided by rival villages (which is always what we used to do when I was a kid); but I’m glad it does. As usual it was huge and very skilfully built so that it made a truly awesome sight as it burned brightly on the village green in the clear November night. The blustery wind caught the flames occasionally and sent showers of sparks and embers into the sky.

As far as I’m concerned, there’s nothing quite as primitively magical as a big, powerful open fire. And - I suppose because open fires are uncommon these days - I really enjoyed not just gazing at the bonfire but also looking at the faces of all the other people gazing at it! Especially, of course, at the faces of the children; wide-eyed, open-mouthed and not a little afraid of the power of the leaping flames.

What amazes even more is how Stamfordham manages to afford such an impressive fireworks display. It lasted for almost 20 minutes and was very colourful and noisy - all the things a good fireworks display should be. The ‘ooohs’ and ‘aaahs’ alone were worth the journey.

It was like being in an episode of The Archers. The villagers had obviously worked tirelessly together for weeks (if not months) to build the bonfire and arrange the display. Well, it was worth all the effort.

Thankyou, Stamfordham.

CHILDREN IN NEED
As you can imagine, I’ve been pondering on what my cash-raising role should be on Children In Need day this upcoming Friday (14 November). As you may have heard by now, the solution occurred while I was pre-recording Monday’s programme and remarking on the fact that this is National Balloon Week. No really, it IS.

I’ve decided that I’m going to blow up balloons during the live part of the programme on Friday morning.

This may seem like a turgidly trivial thing to do to raise money. Where, I hear you ask, is the Ian Robinson who had his beard shaved off for Children In Need? The man who did some Extreme Ironing at the top of Grey’s Monument? Well, please believe me when I tell you that I find blowing up balloons just as intimidating as ironing on a two-foot ledge 100 feet up above the street. I loathe balloons. They scare me rigid. They are the devil’s work. People who enjoy blowing them up and festooning the venues of celebrations with them are clinically unwell. And those who find bursting balloons uproariously funny should suffer the same fate as Guy Fawkes all those years ago. Indeed, to be hanged, drawn and quartered is too good a fate for such wicked folk.

Nevertheless, I’m going to do it. BUT ONLY if you give me some CASH. LOTS and LOTS of CASH. Expressed in amounts per balloon blown up on the day. It’s for a good cause and it’s only once a year. So DIG DEEP.

That’s not an invitation. It’s an instruction.

CONTACT ME
Post comments on this blog or contact me in any one (or more) of these ways....
ian.robinson@bbc.co.uk
ianstuartrobinson@googlemail.com
text 07786 200954 (while the programme is on-air)
call (between about 0545 and 0630 Monday to Friday) 0191 232 6565
Ian Robinson, The Nightshift, BBC Radio Newcastle, Spital Tongues, Newcastle-upon-Tyne NE99 1RN

NOTE
Please bear in mind that the views expressed in this blog are my own and NOT the views of the BBC.