455

In this blogposting
* 50 Things To Do Before You’re 12
* The Royal Oak Quiz
* AGM XLI

* *
50 THINGS TO DO BEFORE YOU’RE 12
Here are the final ten things that the National Trust reckons everyone should have done before their 12th birthday.  These are grouped under ‘Explorer’...

1  Plant it, grow it, eat it
2  Go swimming in the sea
3  Build a raft
4  Go bird watching
5  Find your way with a map and compass
6  Try rock climbing
7  Cook on a campfire
8  Learn to ride a horse
9  Find a geocache
10  Canoe down a river

My score’s average with this group; I haven’t tried 3, 5, 9 or 10 - I don’t really know what a ‘geocache’ actually is but, as soon as I do, I intend to go out and find one.

This whole exercise has, though, made me feel very inadequate...

* * *

 

THE ROYAL OAK QUIZ 3:  ANSWERS
Here are the answers to the Royal Oak Quiz posted a few days ago.
1  Carrie
2  Albert Einstein
3  Flake
4  He’s the new Italian PM
5  Her broomstick
6  Sir Lancelot
7  Casino Royale
8  Golf ball detectors
9  Orange (Saffron)
10  Bucket
11  Cummerbund
12  Repetitive Strain Injury
13  Clove
14  Pennywise
15  The Feathers
16  Skye
17  Dog
18  Neptune
19  Alexander Armstrong
20  £80 Million

21  A golden ball
22  A bag of gold coins
23  Porridge
24  The birds ate them
25  Her voice

26  Family Guy
27  Auf Weidersehen Pet
28  Only Fools & Horses
29  The Big Bang Theory
30  Dukes of Hazzard

The Tie-Breaker answer is 1894.
The Snowball answer is 732.

How well did you do?  I got a measly 9. 

* *
AGM XLI
Let’s see now...
Vivienne can make it on 29 or 31 May.
Hildie can do 25 to 31 May and 1 to 6 June, except that Birkheads is closed on three of those days.
Dave Shannon can do 31 May to June 10, except that Birkheads is closed on three of those days, too.
So Hildie seems to be right.  We’re kind of homing in on 31 May, aren’t we?
Er...
No, we’re not. 
I can’t go that day...

* *

ART AND ME
This posting is adorned with three more pictures from my collection of arty postcards.  I’m honestly beginning to wonder what they are saying about me...

* * *
CONTACT ME
Post comments on this blog or email me:  truckshunters@googlemail.com

454

In this blogposting…

* 50 Things To Do…
* The Royal Oak Quiz
* Art and Me
* AGM XLI

* * *
50 THINGS TO DO BEFORE YOU’RE 12
Here are the next ten things that the National Trust reckons all children should have done before their twelfth birthday.  The general heading for these is ‘Tracker’...

1  Hunt for bugs
2  Find some frogspawn
3  Catch a falling leaf
4  Track wild animals
5  Discover what’s in a pond
6  Make a home for a wild animal
7  Check out the crazy creatures in a rockpool
8  Bring up a butterfly
9  Catch a crab
10  Go on a nature walk at night

I felt really pleased with myself about the last group of items - even smug.

Well, all that conceited self-satisfaction has evaporated now.  I am appalled to report that I haven’t done any of the things on this list - and I’m a lot older than 12.

What’s your score????

And speaking of scores….

* * *

 

* * *
THE ROYAL OAK QUIZ 3
Here’s another Royal Oak quiz for you to get your teeth into.  Questions 21 to 25 are about Fairy Tales and 26 to 30 are all taken from lyrics to tv theme songs.

See how many of these you can answer without resorting to reference books or the internet…

1  What name links a Stephen King novel, a Cliff Richard song, and Princess Leia?
2  Who was famously offered the presidency of Israel in 1952 but turned it down?
3  Which well known chocolate bar was originally created from the wasted chocolate skimmed off the moulds of other chocolate bars?
4  Which job has Enrico Letta just taken up?
5  In The Wizard of Oz, what did Dorothy have to steal from the Wicked Witch of the West?
6  Which of the Knights of the Round Table was Queen Guinevere’s lover?
7  In which Ian Fleming novel did James Bond make his first appearance?
8  Conman James McCormick allegedly made £55m selling gadgets he claimed were bomb detectors – what were they in reality?
9  What colour are the robes of a Buddhist monk in Thailand?
10  In Charlie and The Chocolate Factory, what is Charlie’s surname?
11  Men wearing evening dress sometimes wear a sash around their waists. What's it called?
12  Many computer workers suffer from RSI. What does RSI stand for?
13  Oil obtained from which spice is used to help relieve toothache?
14  What was the name of the clown in the Stephen King story It?
15  In the tv sitcom The Royle Family, what is the name of their local pub?
16  Talisker malt whiskey is distilled on which island?
17  In the children’s tv series Willo The Wisp, what sort of animal was The Moog?
18  Triton, Proteus and Neireid are the three largest moons of which planet?
19  Since Angus Deayton left the show, which comedy actor has presented the most episodes of Have I Got News For You?
20  To the nearest million, how much did Real Madrid pay Man Utd for Cristiano Ronaldo in 2009?

21  In The Frog Prince, what did the frog rescue from the bottom of the pond when the princess dropped it?
22  In Jack and the Beanstalk, what was the first thing that Jack stole from the Giant?
23  In Goldilocks and The Three Bears, what is the first thing belonging to the bears that Goldilocks tries?
24  What happened to Hansel’s trail of breadcrumbs that was supposed to help him and Gretel out of the forest?
25  What did the Little Mermaid agree to give to the Sea Witch in order to get her legs?

26  Lucky there’s a man who positively can do all the things that make us laugh and cry
27  Working all day for a pittance of pay then you blow it on a Saturday night. When you kiss the dames and don’t ask their names.
28  TV’s, Deep Freeze, David Bowie LPs, pool games, gold chains, wosnames and at a push, some Trevor Francis tracksuits from a mush in Shepherd’s Bush
29  The Earth began to cool, the artotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools. We built a wall, we built the pyramids.
30  Straightening the curve, flattening the hills, someday the mountain might get them, but the law never will

TIE BREAKER
The first pound note was introduced in which year?
SNOWBALL
How many minutes of playing time did it take Fernando Torres to score his first goal for Chelsea?

Big Thanks to Ross for sending me the Royal Oak Quizzes...

* * *
ART AND ME
Over the years I’ve visited a lot of art galleries and, when I do, I try to buy postcards of the pictures I like best when I’m there.

Recently, I’ve been scanning some of those postcards into my computer.  The picture at the top is The Lady of Shallot (by Waterhouse) and the lower picture is by Holman Hunt (although I can’t remember what it’s called).

I have no recollection of ever having seen the abstract work featured in the middle but I suppose I must have done…

* * *
AGM XLI...
...will take place at 1100 on Thursday 30 May at Birkheads Nursery - although, judging from reaction so far, I may well be the only one there...

* * *
CONTACT ME
Post comments on this blog or email me:  truckshunters@googlemail.com

453

In this blogposting…

* 50 Things To Do…
* AGM XLI
* * *
50 THINGS TO DO BEFORE YOU’RE 12
Here’s the next ten items on the National Trust’s list - they are headed ‘Ranger’.

1  Pick blackberries growing in the wild
2  Explore inside a tree
3  Visit a farm
4  Go on a walk barefoot
5  Make a grass trumpet
6  Hunt for fossils and bones
7  Go star gazing
8  Climb a huge hill
9  Explore a cave
10  Hold a scary beast

I was delighted with this batch - because, for the first time, I can report that I’ve done them all.

1
We used to pick a lot of blackberries when I was young.  They’re everywhere, so it cost nothing to get to them.  And it was always a huge (and painful) adventure to get to the unpicked ones at the top and at the back.

 

Bilberries (like the luscious ones at the top) were a favourite, too, although they’re not nearly as common and grow inconveniently low.  Picking them can feel strangely unrewarding, too - you spend all day gathering them and end up with barely a cupful - although this could partly be because so many of them never made it to the bag.

I’ve carried the taste of blackberries and bilberries with me all my life.  I love them and genuinely bemoan the fact that bramble and apple (or bilberry and apple) pies don’t grow on trees, too.

2
The best tree to do this in is the Ancient Yew in the churchyard at Much Marcle, in Herefordshire.  (What a gloriously English place-name - Much Marcle.)

It’s at least 1,500 years old, has a girth of 30ft and even has a seat inside it so you can shelter from the Herefordshire rain - which is exactly what I had to do when I was there.

3
I’m glad to say I’ve been to quite a few farms but the most memorable was the one I visited to make a recording for the Nightshift.  It was at Christmas-time and the themes of my pre-recordings were the twelve days of Christmas.  I was at the farm - near Heddon-on-the-Wall - to see cows being milked, although it was far too early for the eight maids to join me.

4
One of my happiest memories of holidays on the Greek islands is the barefoot walk I did across part of the exquisite little island of Symi.  I was so inspired that I named one of my cats after it.

5
In my salad days, I made lots of grass trumpets.  None of them ever worked.

It’s like whistling.  If you can’t do it, you’re a sissy or a prat.  Or both.

As a matter of pure curiosity, I’ve just been into the garden and tried it again for the first time in over 50 years.  I still can’t do it.

I still can’t whistle either.

6
There’s no question at all about the best place in England to go fossil-hunting; the cliffs and foreshore around Lyme Regis in Dorset - the Jurassic Coast.

I was there a few years ago with my friend Sue, along with a few other hardy folk scrabbling amongst the rocks and shingle.  Naturally, we didn’t find anything, although other people did.

7
Townies like me are rarely in a place that’s light-free enough to see the stars in all their glory.

The first time I was able to do this was on a narrowboat holiday over 30 years ago.  We had moored up for the night in the proverbial ‘middle of nowhere’ and I can remember putting out all the boat’s lights and sitting outside on the foredeck, gazing up to the heavens in complete darkness.

It was a revelation.  I’d simply never seen this gobsmacking display - or never noticed it or never even looked.  I suppose that’s what happens if all you’re used to is urban light-pollution.

Nowadays, I can redress this omission from my past each time I visit France.  Serge’s house is remote and alone; a late-evening glass of wine in the garden, looking up at the sky, is one of the many great pleasures of being there.

8
In the late 70s I was daft enough to walk up Snowdon, which is about as huge as you can get on our unmountained island.

It was blanketed in fog at the top so all we could see was each other - only just.

9
I lived in Sheffield for over a decade and, as any Sheffielder will confirm, the city’s ‘golden frame’ makes it a very special place indeed.

The Peak District hills to the west of the city are pierced by several natural caves and caverns.  There’s even an underground lake in one of them.  When you take a boat trip there, the guides turn off the cavern lights for a moment so that you can experience utter and complete darkness.  They say that ‘you literally can’t see your hand in front of your face’ and then switch the lights back on.

Each person in the boat is holding a hand in front of their face. 

10
We visited the Wildlife Rescue Centre at Ulgham on the Blue Bus.  And that’s where I handled my first and only snake.

I was nervous but I needn’t have been.  It was a tremendous and very calming experience which I wouldn’t mind repeating some time.

In fact, the more I think about this National Trust list, the more I am inspired to make it the business of the Honourable Company to get out there and do some of these things…

In the meantime - please get in touch with any memories you’d like to share.

(Writing this blog transported me so deeply into the past that I forgot I’d put some potatoes on to boil.  I had to stop drafting it halfway through when the sickly burning smell reached my computer table.  They’d boiled completely dry.)

* * *
AGM XLI

I think we’re homing in on a date and venue for the next AGM.

1100.

Thursday 30 May.

Birkheads Nursery.

How does that sound?

* *
CONTACT ME
Post comments on this blog or email me:  truckshunters@googlemail.com

452

In this blogposting…
* News From Nowhere
* 50 Things To Do…
* The Kite Runner
* AGM XLI
Tread softly for you tread on my dreams….

* * *
NEWS FROM NOWHERE
I think it’s about time we caught up with some of those unpredictable and surprising stories that make life bearable. - just about.

* While many people have to endure overcrowded commuter trains as part of their daily grind, there are some stations that serve just a handful of passengers a month.  And I’m proud to say that figures just released by the Office of Rail Regulation show that the quietest station in the UK is right here in north-east England.

Step forward to receive your applause - Teesside Airport station.

Last year, only 14 passengers used the station.  In the year before that, there were only 18.  In a whole year.

This could be because it’s only served by one train a week.  Or maybe it’s because it isn’t really that close to the airport; you have to walk over a mile to get to the terminal building.

As a matter of truckshunter interest, the silver-medallist was Dorking West station in Surrey, with 38 passengers in two years.  Bronze goes to Denton in Manchester, with only 30 passengers last year.

Well done, all three.  Cue victory anthem.

* A telephone answering company called Moneypenny is sending its callcentre staff in Wrexham halfway round the world - to Auckland in New Zealand - to cover the night shift in Britain.

New Zealand time is 12 hours ahead of the UK and the company’s workers can enjoy the sunshine whilst providing overnight cover 11,000 miles away.  They’ve said they want to provide ‘wide-awake staff’ to answer the ever-increasing calls they receive during the night.

So, when Wrexham staff leave the office at 2000, colleagues in Auckland take over until 0800.

Staff were asked to choose between working nights in Wrexham or relocating to the Southern Hemisphere for six months to work an 8-day shift rota - 4 days on and 4 days off.  Of the 250 staff, only four opted to stay in Wrexham.

The New Zealand office is in the suburb of Takapuna, which has a 6km-long beach.

Wrexham, on the other hand, has a small swimming pool next to the Magistrates’ Court.

* A cuckoo called David is one of five that were fitted with satellite tags last year by the British Trust for Ornithology (BTO), who wanted to monitor cuckoo migration patterns.  Normally, the birds would overwinter in the Congo and return to the south-west UK in the Spring.

And that’s what all five of them did - Idemili, Iolo, Lloyd, Indy and, of course, David.

They were tracked, via their tags, over north-west Spain and across the Bay of Biscay, arriving in Yeovil, Somerset, last Friday.  So far, so good.

David, though, is no ordinary cuckoo.

In a moment of eccentric individuality worthy of an award, David decided that Yeovil was far too cold.  So he upped sticks and flew back over the Channel to spend a few days outside Paris.  This is thought to be the first time in recorded ornithological history that a bird has ‘reverse-migrated’.

What David did could go some way to explain why cuckoo populations in Britain have declined so dramatically in the last few years.  Since 2009, they’ve gone down by 9% in Scotland, 27% in Wales and - catastrophically - by 49% in England. 

* * *
50 THINGS TO DO BEFORE YOU’RE 12
In the last blogposting, I mentioned a list, compiled by the National Trust, of 50 things it reckons young people should have done by their twelfth birthday.  I’m thoroughly and genuinely ashamed of how few of the ‘Adventurer’-based items I have achieved even now, as I hobble towards my pension.

Here are the second group of ten, headed ‘Discoverer’.

1  Go on a really long bike ride
2  Make a trail with sticks
3  Make a mud pie
4  Dam a stream
5  Play in the snow
6  Make a daisy chain
7  Set up a snail race
8  Create some wild art
9  Play pooh sticks
10  Jump over waves

My score here is lamentable.  I’ve never done 1, 2, 3, 7, 8 or 9.  The fact that I have done 6 may explain a lot about me, I suppose.

So the list of things I want us all to do is growing by the day.

And for heaven’s sake remember the axiom that Serge quoted the other day…’We have two lives - the second one starts when we realise we have only one…’

* * *
THE KITE RUNNER
Have you read this book?

* * *
AGM XLI
The venue, date and time of the next AGM are still awaiting your further reaction.  Get in touch!

* *
CONTACT ME
Post comments on this blog or email me:  truckshunters@googlemail.com

451

 Voices of Spring...

In this blogposting…

* May Day
* 50 Things To Do…
Let slip the dogs of war…

* *
MAY DAY
For indecipherable reasons, we English do not celebrate May Day on May Day, unless May Day falls on a Monday, in which case we do.  Otherwise, we have decided, in our artless English way, that May Day (for our purposes) falls on the first Monday in May.

And that’s more or less when this blogposting will appear and thus why only foreigners will think it anachronistic to talk briefly about May Day now.

Historically, May Day was never a public holiday in England which is, I suppose, why we tend not to celebrate it much - or at all.  Chocolate-box maypoles occasionally appear in remote villages in Wiltshire or Dorset, populated by Range Rovered commuters who come to watch proceedings laid on specially for them, enthralled.

Otherwise, everyone’s far too busy getting and spending on May 1 and, by the time May Day Monday arrives, it’s too late.  Intertwining ribbons while you clog-dance around a thinly-disguised phallic symbol is, after all, only excusable on ‘the day’ itself.

Things are charmingly different in France, though, where May Day has become a day devoted to the giving and carrying of one of Spring’s most beautiful plants:  the dainty and fragrant lily-of-the-valley. 

May Day isn’t just a folkloric ‘welcome to Spring’, complete with clacking sticks and knee-bells.  It’s also the day when, according to ancient and very widespread tradition, farm-workers and other general labourers were permitted by their betters to celebrate - and even, sometimes, to complain about - their lives.  Which is probably why it was never a public holiday in England.

At the beginning of the 20th century it became traditional in France for labour organisations, as well as poor individuals, to sell lily-of-the-valley on May 1 without the need to pay sales tax, thus welcoming Spring and drawing attention to their financial plight in one fell swoop.

The tradition has stuck.  On May Day, French children carry lily-of-the-valley wherever they go and grown-ups, too, join in by exchanging posies.  Which is, when you think about it, a rather splendid and spring-like thing to do on the first day of May.

This is the posy of lily-of-the-valley (and a big pink rose) that Serge was given by his Maman.

* *
50 THINGS TO DO BEFORE YOU’RE 12
I suffer from industrial-strength listomania and this latest list is right up my street.  The National Trust - whom God preserve - has compiled a digest of things which, it thinks, all children should have tried to do - or at least been encouraged to do - before they’re 12.

There are five categories in the list.  Here are the ten items under the ‘Adventurer’ category.

1  Climb a tree
2  Roll down a really big hill
3  Camp out in the wild
4  Build a den
5  Skim a stone
6  Run around in the rain
7  Fly a kite
8  Catch a fish with a net
9  Eat an apple straight from a tree
10  Play conkers

In my 63½ years, I’ve managed numbers 1, 3, 6 and 9.  I’ve tried 5, 7 and 10 several times, each occasion resulting in ritual and unforgettable humiliation.  I wouldn’t even know where to start with 4 and 8.

What’s your score? 

And is it time we collectively decided to tackle this list before it’s far, far, far too late?

* *
AGM XLI
There seems to be a demand for our next AGM to be held at Birkheads Nursery once again.  I’m more than happy to go along with this idea.

But should it take place on a Thursday, as usual?  Or should we be really adventurous and daring and hold it on a Saturday or Sunday?

I’ll go with the flow on this one.  If, that is, there’s a flow to go with.

Get in touch.

* *
CONTACT ME
Post comments on this blog or email me:  truckshunters@googlemail.com