In posting 312, I drew your attention to a cat that looked like Hitler.
It's not just cats, though, that have the misfortune to resemble the most evil man who ever lived...
This kettle has, apprently, had to be withdrawn from sale by US department store JC Penney...
...and this house is in Cardiff (of all places)
In this blogposting…* AGM XLI
* In Memoriam
* Jokes About Engineers
* * *
This is your final reminder. Well, your final reminder but one.
The next AGM will take place at 1100 this upcoming Thursday 4 July at Oliver’s Cafe on Grainger Market..
You know you want to be there and that there’s no point in not going. So remind yourself to remember not to forget.
IN MEMORIAM: THE SOMME
We don't often feature Today in History items on the blog and I'm not sure why. Thanks mainly to Peter in South Shields, they were a regular feature on The Nightshift and provided quite a few talking points as well.
Take today, for example...
On 1 July 1916 - two years into the First World War - the Battle of the Somme began. 100,000 British soldiers climbed out of their trenches and went 'over the top' into No Man's Land.
By day's end, 20,000 of them lay dead, with another 40,000 wounded or captured.
It was the worst one-day loss suffered by any army in the whole of human history.
The British line had advanced two miles.
The Battle of the Somme lasted until November. When it ended, the death-toll was staggering. 420,000 British soldiers had died. South of the river, another 195,000 French troops had lost their lives. The Germans suffered an appalling loss of over 650,000 soldiers.
Well over 1¼m people dead - in five months.
As far as I know, nobody has ever been brought to justice for what many historians believe to have been a wilful crime against humanity.
* * *
JOKES ABOUT ENGINEERS (AND OTHER PEOPLE)
As engineering seems to have been June’s flavour of the month, and because one of my best friends and also one of my nephews are engineers, here are some jokes about engineers….
WHY ENGINEERS DON’T WRITE RECIPE BOOKS
Chocolate Chip Cookies
1 532.35 cm3 gluten
2 4.9 cm3 NaHCO3
3 4.9 cm3 refined halite
4 236.6 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride
5 177.45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O11
6 177.45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O11
7 4.9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde
8 Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian albumen-coated protein
9 473.2 cm3 theobroma cacao
10 236.6 cm3 de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size #10)
To a 2lt jacketed round reactor vessel (reactor #1) with an overall heat transfer coefficient of about 100 Btu/F-ft2-hr, add ingredients one, two and three with constant agitation.
In a second 2lt reactor vessel with a radial flow impeller operating at 100rpm, add ingredients four, five, six, and seven until the mixture is homogenous. To reactor #2, add ingredient eight, followed by three equal volumes of the homogenous mixture in reactor #1. Additionally, add ingredient nine and ten slowly, with constant agitation.
Care must be taken at this point in the reaction to control any temperature rise that may be the result of an exothermic reaction.
Using a screw extrude attached to a #4 nodulizer, place the mixture piece-meal on a 316SS sheet (300 x 600 mm). Heat in a 460K oven for a period of time that is in agreement with Frank & Johnston's first order rate expression (see JACOS, 21, 55), or until golden brown. Once the reaction is complete, place the sheet on a 25C heat-transfer table, allowing the product to come to equilibrium.
Half Full or Half Empty?
To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.
This question was posed to university applicants in the USA…
IN ORDER FOR THE ADMISSIONS STAFF OF OUR COLLEGE TO GET TO KNOW YOU BETTER, WE ASK THAT YOU ANSWER THE FOLLOWING QUESTION: ARE THERE ANY SIGNIFICANT EXPERIENCES YOU HAVE HAD, OR ACCOMPLISHMENTS YOU HAVE REALIZED, THAT HAVE HELPED TO DEFINE YOU AS A PERSON?
This was one of the essays written as a result…
'I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention.
I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row. I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up severe inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes.
I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru. Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants.
I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after school, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.
I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration.
My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me. I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket.
I have performed several covert operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery.
The laws of physics do not apply to me. I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven.
I breed prize winning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.
But I have not yet gone to college.'
They admitted him to New York University.
Post comments on this blog or email me: email@example.com