In this blogposting…
* Useful Household Tips: Number 718
* A Day in the Life of a £50 Note
* News From Nowhere
* AGM XXXIII
Don’t blame me…
USEFUL HOUSEHOLD TIPS - NUMBER 718: TOOTHPASTE
It’s amazing how useful a tube of toothpaste can be - at least according to a ludicrous household hints website I was recently directed to.
If you try any of these suggestions, please report back.
Squirt a small dab of non-gel toothpaste on the wall where the mark is. Rub gently with a soft cloth then rinse with warm water.
Can’t get garlic or onion odour off your hands? Wash them with a blob of toothpaste.
Smarten up your trainers by rubbing scuff marks with an old toothbrush and non-gel toothpaste.
CDs and DVDs…
Get rid of light scratches by squeezing a little non-gel toothpaste onto a cotton-wool ball. Wipe over the CD or DVD from the centre out to the edge. Rinse with water and dry with a non-abrasive, lint-free cloth.
Coat the inside of swimming goggles with toothpaste then wipe it off - they’ll stay crystal clear.'
Or you could just clean your teeth.
A DAY IN THE LIFE OF A £50 NOTE
'It's a slow day in a little town. There's a chill in the air, and the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit...
On this particular day a well-to-do type of bloke is driving through town. He stops at a local hotel and lays a £50 note on the desk saying he wants to inspect the rooms because he wants to spend a night in the town..
As soon as the man walks upstairs, the hotel owner grabs the £50 and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.
The butcher takes the £50 and runs down the street to settle his debt to the farmer.
The farmer takes the £50 and heads off to pay his bill at the supplier of his animal feed.
The bloke at the Farmer's Co-op seizes the £50 and runs to pay his debt to the local prostitute, who has also been facing hard times and has had to offer her services on credit.
She in turn dashes to the hotel and pays off her room bill with the hotel owner.
The hotel proprietor then places the £50 note back on the counter to await the return of his potential guest.
A few minutes later the man returns to the desk, says the rooms are not satisfactory, pockets the £50 and leaves town.
No one produced anything. No one earned anything. However, everyone concerned is now out of debt and now looks to the future with great optimism.
And that’s how the Government is conducting business today.'
NEWS FROM NOWHERE
Ahhhhhh....* Two Siberian tiger cubs abandoned by their mother at a zoo in Russia have found an unusual wet nurse - a shar-pei dog called Cleopatra. The dog has been cleaning the cubs and feeding them as if they were her own.
Saved from certain death* A woman is praising Boston transport workers for rescuing her 3-year-old daughter's stuffed animal from the train tracks.
Casey Carey-Brown ( - wonderful name - ) said that the stuffed animal "jumped" from her daughter's push-chair and fell onto the tracks as they were getting off the train. The Massachusetts Bay Transportation Authority workers acted quickly to save her daughter's stuffed bunny from being run over by calling the oncoming train, halting it, and rescuing the toy from the tracks.
She’s thanked the workers who helped in the rescue effort, saying ‘you really didn't have to do what you did today, but you have made a little 3-year-old incredibly happy.’
Dorothy (108) and Marjorie (105)* Two sisters have been officially recognised by Guinness World Records as the oldest siblings in the world.
Dorothy Richards is 108 and her sister Marjorie Ruddle is 105.
They were born and brought up in Northampton before attending colleges in London and eventually returning to the east of England to look after the family home when their mother died.
The sisters celebrated their record with a tea party at the Peterborough nursing home where Mrs Ruddle lives.
A spokesperson from Guinness World Records confirmed the sisters had the ‘highest combined age of two living siblings’.
The total age of the sisters is 213 years, three months, and 27 days.
The face of evil....well, mischief* One of England’s most prolific burglars has been jailed for five and a half years. Pensioner Simon Berkowitz (65) admitted five burglaries, one count of going equipped to burgle and two counts of fraud. He has more than 250 convictions spanning more than 50 years.
Last year's Duck Race at Burton Latimer* And finally...this year’s Duck Race in the Pocket Park at Burton Latimer, in Northamptonshire, due to take place yesterday (Saturday 9 June), has had to be postponed because the river is 1.5 metres above its normal level and the park is waterlogged.
Our next AGM will take place at 1100 on Thursday 21 June at Birkheads Nursery, between Sunniside and Stanley.
There’ll be planking, a tango and some tongue-twisters. But, despite that, a splendid time is guaranteed for all.
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