A friend of mine recently sent me this picture of midnight at the North Pole. Isn't it lovely?In this blogposting…
* Linda’s Joke
* Things You Didn’t Know You Didn’t Know
* Northumbria Food And Wine Festival
* News From Nowhere
Onward and upward..
(...and she should be thoroughly ashamed of herself)
A woman takes her pet duck to the vet.
The vet says ‘Your duck is dead.’
The woman says ‘Are you sure?’
‘Yes’, says the vet.
‘How can you be so sure?’ says the woman. ‘You've done no tests!’
So the vet brings in a labrador retriever which sniffs the duck and shakes his head.
Next, he brings in a cat which sniffs the bird and shakes its head.
Then the vet says, ‘Sorry, but as I said before, your duck is dead.’
He hands the woman his bill.
She shouts ‘£820 to tell me my duck is dead??!!!’
The vet says ‘If you had taken my word for it the bill would be £20 but Lab Reports and Cat Scans cost extra’.
As Linda said in her email…‘boom! boom!’
THINGS YOU DIDN’T KNOW YOU DIDN’T KNOW
* MI5 used to have special kettles kept solely for steaming open envelopes.
* Only one in every 250 million births is a case of conjoined twins.
* Bill Clinton was invited to appear on Dancing with the Stars, the US version of Strictly Come Dancing.
* Penguins find their family members by sniffing them out.
* The world's smallest aquarium contains just two teaspoons of water.
* Elephants can paint.
* Red-haired donors are being turned away by the world's largest sperm bank because there is a lack of demand for their "product".
* Facebook now hosts 4% of all the photographs ever taken.
* Yawning cools down the brain.
NORTHUMBRIA FOOD AND WINE FESTIVAL
Here’s something a bit special for your diary - The Northumbria Food and Wine Festival, which will be taking place in Tynedale Park, Corbridge, between 7 and 9 October.
There’ll be wine-tasting, live music and classic local cuisine. Tickets cost £20, and included in the price are tokens for wine samples and a commemorative tasting glass for you to use at the festival and then keep.
Take a look at their lovely, tempting website for more info:
NEWS FROM NOWHERE
A man tried to board a flight from Miami to Brazil with bags of exotic snakes and tortoises stuffed in his trousers. He was stopped and arrested after passing through a body scanner at Miami International airport and the animals were confiscated by the Department for Fish and Wildlife.
It has been estimated that the wildlife smuggling trade makes £6bn a year from transporting endangered species.
In 2009, a man was caught smuggling three iguanas inside his hollow prosthetic leg…
The fantasy of seeing banknotes fluttering down from the sky came true for Dutch motorists after a package containing cash apparently fell from a bank transport truck and split open. The incident triggered a dangerous scramble for the euro bills on the busy A2 highway near Maastricht as people parked on the hard shoulder and ran into the road to scoop up loose notes. Police confirmed that, for a short while at least, it really did ‘rain money’ - although it wasn’t clear how much cash was lost or how it could have fallen from the truck…
Please send me any odd news clippings like these - I love ‘em!
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