281In this blogposting…
*Exercise For People Over 40
Proceed with caution...
...will be held at 1100 this upcoming Sunday 12 June at Grey’s Monument in Newcastle - despite Vivienne’s absence, for which there will be a minute’s silence (if we can manage it).
Apart from that, a splendid time is guaranteed for all.
EXERCISE FOR PEOPLE OVER 40
I recently received this extremely useful email from Hildie, who sensibly realises that, after we get to a certain age, some sort of repetitive exercise is good for us. Follow these recommended instructions carefully and you can’t go wrong...
1 Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of
room at each side.
2 Then, with a 5-kg potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight
out from your sides and hold them there for as long as you can.
3 Try to reach a full minute, and then relax.
4 Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit
5 After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-kg potato bags.
6 Then try 50-kg potato bags
7 Eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-kg potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.
(I'm at this level.)
8 After you feel confident at that level...
9 ...put a potato in each bag.
Good advice Hildie. Thanks.
This lovely joke was sent to me by an otherwise unknown emailer who signed him/herself ‘good4alaff’. I like it a lot, although I’ve had to change some of the language for fear of offending those of a nervous disposition.
A bloke is driving around Northumberland and sees a sign in front of a house:
TALKING DOG FOR SALE
He rings the bell and the owner tells him the dog is in the back garden. The bloke goes into the garden and sees a Bedlington terrier sitting there.
"Do you talk?" he asks.
"I certainly do," the terrier replies.
"So, what's your story?" asks the bloke.
The terrier looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the MI5 about my gift, and in no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one thought a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running.
"But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredibly important drug dealings and was awarded lots of medals.
Then I got married, had a load of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The bloke is amazed.
He goes back into the house and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
"Ten quid," the owner says.
"Ten quid? This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?"
"Because he's a liar. He never did any of those things."
In the last couple of blogs, I’ve described the first two days of my recent holiday in southern France.
You can see more pictures of the holiday (including a video of me cooling off at the Pont du Gard), and find out more about some of the destinations, if you take a look at Serge’s updated blog. Just click on his picture in the ‘Followers’ box here; then, in the pop-up window, click on his blog name.
Or type ‘spepere.blogspot.com’ (no ‘www’ and no ‘@’) into Google’s search box.
And finally, a deeply touching story that I’ve just found in my pile of newspaper cuttings.
‘An eight-year-old swan is besotted with a tractor, according to hotelier Hermann-Josef Hericks in the village of Velen, in Muensterland, north-west Germany.
The mute swan - called Schwani (Swanny) - is allegedly so obsessed with the blue machine that, every time the engine starts up, he waddles over to say hello.
‘Ever since we bought the tractor three years ago, Schwani has been following it everywhere it goes’ Hericks told a national paper.
Veronika Schwill, who works at the hotel, said that Schwani also found diggers and other machines on the building site next door ‘interesting’’
If anyone has more information on this beguiling story, I’d love to know more.
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