Funky Staircases: Number 1
(For numbers 2 - 5, see below)
In this blogposting…
*Durham: The Police Box
*Some More Helpful Advice
*Blogposting 279
Cry ‘Havoc!’ and let slip the dogs of war…

In posting 277 I reminisced wistfully about the strange old days when traffic through the centre of Durham City was controlled from a police box in the Market Place. The ever-resourceful Sid has now sent me an online link to a rare piece of video footage about the police box. It brought back so many memories - and confirmed many of my recollections about bus liveries, as well!

If the link below doesn’t work directly from here, copy and paste it into Google’s ‘Search’ box.

Thanks very much indeed, Sid.

Truckshunter Miles - previously unknown to me - was so impressed with the advice I gave in posting 275 about the avoidance of being struck by lightning that he immediately grabbed his quill (as he puts it) and wrote me a list of the best advice he has had over the years….

Never put off to tomorrow what you can put off to the day after tomorrow
Never believe anything you hear - and only half of what you see
Always look inside your shoes before you put them on
Nobody ever leaves money in the street meaning to go back for it
All cinemas are bigger inside than they are outside
It is always better to give than to receive - because you don’t have to write a Thankyou letter
When in doubt, have a banana
Croquet brings out the worst in people
Always carry a corkscrew with you, for one day you are sure to meet a man with a bottle of wine and no corkscrew
Never applaud a vicar’s sermon - it only encourages them
Everyone would be vegetarian if we left the heads on the animals we eat
Do not expect postmen to write letters
Never go out with anyone who is better at arm-wrestling than you are
Avoid actresses
Avoid anyone who is interested in amateur dramatics
When someone insults you, think very seriously for a moment about whether he is right or not
There is no point offending your enemy - he is offended already. You would be better off offending a friend
No man is an island - though some are cut off at high tide
Man is the only animal who has ever thought it worthwhile to design and manufacture facsimile dog turds
Never accept second helpings of sloe gin
The more we learn, the more we forget
People who give advice rarely listen to what they themselves are saying

Thankyou Miles; that’s one of the driest and funniest lists I’ve read in ages. More please.

And if anyone would care to add to Miles’ list, please feel free.
Our next AGM will take place at 1100 on Sunday 12 June. I’m not sure where though. In a comment to posting 277, Hildie mentions two suggestions: the Bowes Railway (at Springwell Village) and a new cafe in the park at South Shields.

If anyone knows which of these two we’re meeting at, please get in touch.

Wherever it is, I am absolutely unanimous in declaring that a splendid time is guaranteed for all.
I am on holiday next week so the next blogposting - number 279, for heaven’s sake - will appear the following week. I know how much hardship and mental anguish this will cause to countless thousands of truckshunters and I feel profoundly guilty about it.

However, it would be physically and mentally impossible for me to abandon you to truckshunter cold turkey so, to keep you occupied and safely off the streets, here are three intriguing ‘neurological’ tests sent to me by Eric and Jean, from The Commercial at Tantobie.

First of all...
Can you raed this?
Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can. I cdnuolt blveiee that I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd what I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid! Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in what oerdr the ltteres in a word are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is that the frsit and last ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can still raed it whotuit a pboerlm. This is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the word as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? And I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt!

Secondly, find the C in this lot (without help from your computer cursor)…

If you thought that was easy, try finding the 6 in here... 99999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999

And finally - the trickiest of all...Find the N…

In an emergency, I can be contacted at:
Ward 74
The Dale Winton Home For The Terminally Bewildered
Back Gasworks View
Bishop Auckland
Au revoir...


Kev said...

It's happened again.

I posted a blog, here, at 0830 this morning. Where's it gone?

Perhaps there's a place, a utopia for blogs, where blogs slip away to when no-one is looking.

The time is now 1105; let's see how long this one stays around

Kev said...

Vanishing blog (version 2)

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?

If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

Is there another word for synonym?

Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.

When trouble arises and things look bad, there is always one individual who perceives a solution and is willing to take command. Very often, that individual is crazy.

Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

The most powerful force in the universe is gossip.

You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight savings time.

There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age 11.

The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.

The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.

Your friends love you, anyway.

Val said...

Read your post about Holidays the night before going on holiday. Mainly visiting our son in Graz, Austria. Here's a video of a double spiral staircase we somehow missed on our recent holiday to Graz. http://bit.ly/lMu8K3
Had a couple of nights in Prague on the way and a couple of nights in Vienna on the way back. Vienna's so expensive and commercial, we got tired of the music 'pimps' dressed in 18th century costumes, asking if we wanted tickets for the opera or classical concerts. The only music we actually heard was the Blue Danube emanating from the ladies loos - 'Opera Toilet, mit musik'!

As big fans of Eurovision, one of the highlights of our trip was going to a Eurovision party! Our son has friends who have a party every year to watch the contest. With all the children too there must have been 40 of us - including a lad who's taught English in Austria for over 20 years but was born in Whitley Bay! Wherever ye gan...

Loved Miles advice and so much more I'll have to catch up on later. Conquered the post holiday washing. Now to tackle the mountain of ironing.

Happy Holidays Ian.

Hildie said...

Do you think it might be Miles Platting?
I only began to wonder about that the other day, when Liam and I were driving past Victoria Garesfield.

Kev .... I've recently heard from Linda and she,too, is having trouble with the blog. She actually can't get onto it. Linda, sadly, can't make the next AGM as she will be away on holiday.

I have also heard from Nev, who said that we shouldn't go to Bowes Railway on 12th June. I'll have to check on the reason he gave me ....
but it was along the lines of nothing is happening there that day
.... I'm sure it was quite significant ... like it's closed or something!! Consequently, we have Nev to thank for enabling us to avoid a disaster.

And Val .... you've had your holidays .... you won't be at work, will you?! :-)

p.s. Sincere apologies to Miles.

Sid said...

It's driving me bonkers as well Hildie.

Hildie said...

AGM XXV11- 12/06/2011
Remember I told you I'd check what Nev's message on facebook said ....
here we go .... 'don't go to Bowes Railway, it's not an operating day
and will be closed.'
I forgot to say that I watched Sid's video of the Police Box in Durham. What a gem it is!
Has anyone managed to see Val's
staircase video? I'm afraid I couldn't get it, I did try.

Vivienne said...

Hi Hildie,

Yes I saw Val's staircase - very unusual! Did you try to highlight the address then drag it into the address box above? (sorry I can't remember the technical terms!) Anyway, that's how I accessed the site.

Perhaps the Quayside is the best venue for the next AGM, unless the forecast is poor! It would be a pity to go to South Shields when Linda is away, and Bowes Railway is no longer an option. To date I'm not working that day. I was running a National Trust stall at Gibside's Farmers' Market last Saturday!

Hope everyone is keeping well. Sorry, I don't post comments very often, but do keep an eye on the blog!

Lots of love,
Vivienne xxx

Hildie said...

Wow! Success with your double spiral staircase,Val! I got onto it this morning.

Of those staircases Ian showed us, there is only one that I'd attempt to climb. They're rather stunning to look at, nevertheless!

Hildie said...

Hi Vivienne .....
hope you are well too,
and glad you are keeping abreast
of things! It's true what you say
.... a pity to go to South Shields when Linda is away. Somewhere in Newcastle would probably be better for Ada too ... we haven't seen her in a while, I hope she's keeping well.
I'm sorry I missed your post, just then, it wasn't there when I started to write mine.

We'll have to see what Ian thinks, regarding a venue, when he gets back from his hols.
I just hope that anyone reading and following the blog knows that
all are welcome to the AGMs ....
and that it's coffee and cakes, general chit-chat of no great significance ... and sunshine and laughter. As long as we find somewhere that's open! We have had some near misses! I remember when we arranged to go to Gateshead Library and the cafe was closed for refurbishment. At least Nev has averted a disaster this time!

Hildie said...

Not the best week for selling cucumbers, I would imagine!
Sorry for being a little random!

You know how you learn something every day? Today I learned that Nicholas Briggs (brother of Colin Briggs, Look North) is the voice of the daleks. Fancy that.

Sid said...

Cucumbers Hildie...
Remmember when the milk came in bottles, and the chinking of them was your alarm call for the day, and if the milkmans horse left you a 'little extra something' you'd gladly dash out with a shovel and spread it on the rhubarb patch.
How come we are still here to read this....

Hildie said...

You're right ...... it's a miracle we survived, Sid. There were no "sell by" dates .... and my mam didn't have a fridge, did yours?
Speaking of the milkman ....
I think there was a proper start to the day once upon a time .... when you came downstairs the newspaper was dangling through the letter box,
your letters (hand-written, from real people and having been delivered before 8 o'clock) were languishing on the door-mat. Then, when you opened the door, there were two bottles of milk waiting to be picked up. It all let you know that your day had begun.
Anyway, Sid .... heatwave from tomorrow .... let the caravan begin!!!!

Ian Robinson said...

Kev...some great stuff in your advice comment - I love it and have some of them framed!
Val...I can't quite get my head round the Graz spiral staircase but am impressed nevertheless. Am also very jealous of your holiday...giving me itchy feet again...
Hildie and Sid...ahhh, what memories! (Although I really DON'T remember milk being delivered by horse. That's Peterlee for you...)
Is that true about Colin Briggs' brother? I'm in awe!!!

Vivienne said...

Nic Briggs does the cybermen voices too, and he appeared in Torchwood, 'Children of Earth'.