174

In this posting...
*Ig Nobel Awards
*Nice words
*AGM IX
*The Scottish Play
*The 'Farewell' Symphony
*Ogre of the Week
Now read on, Macduff...

IG NOBEL AWARDS
We truckshunters are nothing if not bang up-to-date with all the latest scientific discoveries and research. We bated our breath with amazement when all those new species were discovered in the volcano-thingy somewhere in the Far East. We’re continually thunderstruck by the advances in sophistication of all that interweb gubbins. We don’t just do stuff; we e-do it. We are epoch-making epeople. Efolk emailing through the ether.

And that’s why, as October comes round once again, we always keep one eye open for news of the Ig Nobel Awards. Keeping both eyes open would be a waste of an eye.

In case you’re not up to speed yet, the Annual Ig Nobel Awards (or Igs) is the second most important event on the scientific calendar. Each autumn, genuine scientific luminaries, including real Nobel Prize winners, gather at Harvard University to celebrate research which - in their own words - ‘cannot, or should not, be repeated’. The Awards, which are hosted by the Annals of Improbable Research, are given to scientists whose results make people laugh first and think second.

Each recipient is allowed only 60 seconds to make their acceptance speech; the time limit is enforced by an 8-year old girl.

What an awesome occasion. If anyone knows how I can wangle an invite (as it were), get in touch. In the meantime, all we can do is fall back and gape in sheer jaw-dropping astonishment at this year’s winners, reserving our warmest and loudest round of applause for the winners of the...

VETERINARY MEDICINE PRIZE
A big victory for north-east England, this - amidst a wealth of worldwide competition. The Award for Veterinary Medicine was shared by Catherine Douglas and Peter Rowlinson at Newcastle University’s School of Agriculture (of which I had previously been unaware) for their groundbreaking discovery that giving cows names like Daisy and Buttercup increases their milk yield.

"It's the highlight of my career," said Douglas. "The work amused the public, but it addressed a serious issue about the welfare of animals and points to an easy way to improve yields by reducing stress in cattle."

I sincerely hope that this couple’s achievement was accorded a long and detailed report and interview on local BBC radio and tv stations. ‘Nuff said.

PEACE PRIZE
Awarded for research on whether it is better to be smashed over the head with a full beer bottle or an empty one, this year’s Ig Nobel Peace Prize went to Stephan Bolliger and colleagues at the University of Bern in Switzerland. "Empty beer bottles are sturdier than full ones," the researchers reported. "However, both full and empty bottles are theoretically capable of fracturing the human neurocranium."

A worthy winner, as I’m sure you agree.

PUBLIC HEALTH PRIZE
Awarded to Elena Bodnar of Hinsdale, Illinois, for patenting a bra which, in an emergency, can be converted into a pair of gas masks - one for the owner and one for a needy bystander. "It was inspired by the Chernobyl nuclear accident," said Bodnar, who is originally from Ukraine. "This way, the mask is always readily available."

Just about says it all, really.

MEDICINE PRIZE
To Donald Unger, a doctor in Thousand Oaks, California, who cracked the knuckles of his left hand, but never those on his right, every day for 60 years to investigate whether it caused arthritis. In his acceptance speech, Donald said "After 60 years, I looked at my knuckles and there's not the slightest sign of arthritis. I looked up to the heavens and said: 'Mother, you were wrong, you were wrong, you were wrong.'

So we can all crack our knuckles with impunity, knowing that, once in a while, your mother doesn’t know best.

CHEMISTRY PRIZE
Javier Morales shares the award with two colleagues at the National University of Mexico for turning the national drink, tequila, into diamonds. Thin films of diamond were produced by heating 80%-proof tequila blanco in a pressure vessel.

I don’t know about you but being bombarded by all this mind-mangling news has me just about bushed into a simmering cauldron of psychological dingos’ kidneys. Enough is enough. You’ll have to wait until the next blogposting for news of the Physics, Biology, Mathematics, Literature and Economics Prizes.

MORE NICE WORDS
Take a shufty at blogposting 173 for a bit of background on this.

Big thanks to Hildie for her ‘nice word’ suggestions: indubitably, nuance, hyperbole, lollop, hemidemisemiquaver and juvenescent. What a collection.

Also to Peter in South Shields - good to hear from him after all this time - for nominating mendacious, gauche, tangy, fulminate and fluke (amongst others).

More, please, of your favourite words; not because of what they mean but just because of the form, shape or sound of the words themselves. Like untoward, diaphanous, lassitude and ravel - all from the original website list.

AGM IX
By virtue of the authority vested in me by the now thankfully defunct Easington District Council (‘magic on the pitch’) I hereby declare that AGM IX will take place at 1100 on Wednesday 4 November, although where is a horse of a different colour. Any further suggestions should be made via the comments column or to the truckshunters email.

Wherever we end up, though, a splendid time is guaranteed for all.

THE PICTURE ABOVE
...is of the Official Truckshunter Ginkgo in Saltwell Park, Gateshead. It was taken by Vivienne at AGM VIII (nee VII). Thanks, Vivienne.

THE SCOTTISH PLAY
In effete theatrical circles, merely saying ‘Macbeth’ out loud is thought to bring untold curses and misfortune, a fact memorably exploited in one of my favourite episodes of Blackadder The Third. However, evidence may at last have emerged that Shakespeare is having the last laugh.

Please spare a thought for members of a Cardiff theatre group who have endured two black eyes, a broken toe, a knee operation, nine cast changes and a 12-month delay during their preparations to present Macbeth - ooops, sorry - ‘the Scottish play’. The presentation’s Director is called Simon Riorda and, although he only has a small part (as it were), he managed to get himself kicked in the eye during a rehearsal.

The play is running at the Chapter Arts Centre in Cardiff this very week. Any news?

OGRE OF THE WEEK
Peter Mandelson.

AND FINALLY...
...I was at The Sage Gateshead again last night (Thursday) to watch our beloved Northern Sinfonia perform one of the quirkiest compositions in the classical repertoire; Haydn’s Symphony No 45, nicknamed the ‘Farewell’ symphony. Haydn wrote it at the request of the members of the orchestra, who were employed, like Haydn himself, by Prince Esterhazy. He had kept them at his summer palace far longer than they were expecting and they wanted to go home to their wives in Eisenstadt.

The sledgehammer hint that Haydn wrote into the final movement of the symphony is a piece of genuine musical humour - rare in classical music. One at a time, each member of the orchestra stops playing, gets up and walks off the stage. As the symphony ends, only two players are left on stage - both of them violinists playing quieter and quieter and - eventually - fading away.

I’d never seen it performed before and it’s seriously discumknockerating to watch the players leaving the stage while their colleagues are still playing. The audience at The Sage - many of whom may not have been expecting the ‘choreography’ - were in stitches. And so was I.

CONTACT ME
Post comments on this blog or email me: truckshunters@googlemail.com