117

Thursday 25 December 2008

MERRY CHRISTMAS
TO
EVERYONE, EVERYWHERE

116

THE NIGHTSHIFT
Big changes are afoot - some of them with immediate effect - on The Nightshift.

Tomorrow morning’s Christmas Eve special is another chance to hear some of the repartee between Lawrence and me during our many On Your Doorstep conversations. After that programme, however, the Nightshift format will alter radically.

This is at least partly because I have decided to accept an offer of voluntary redundancy made to me by the BBC. The redundancy - precipitated by budgetary cuts which all BBC local radio stations are having to make - will take effect from the end of January 2009 but the changes to The Nightshift are to be introduced now.

From Christmas Day onwards, there will be no more Nightshifts of the sort that have become familiar since August 2007. Instead, BBC Radio Newcastle will broadcast back-to-back music all night, every night, from 0100.

The ‘live’ half-hour of the Monday to Friday programmes will remain, however, and I will continue to present it as normal until the end of January.

I know that this news may be unwelcome to many of you, and that this is in many ways an inappropriate time of year to impart it. Naturally, I will have more to say on the subject as the next few days and weeks pass. In the meantime, please ‘count to ten’ (as it were) before putting pen to paper (or finger to keyboard) and try to temper any first reaction you may have with a little discretion, understanding, tact and restraint.

Thankyou.

Your friend.....Ian

CONTACT ME
Post comments on this blog or contact me in any one (or more) of these ways....
ian.robinson@bbc.co.uk
text 07786 200954 (while the programme is on-air)
call (between about 0545 and 0630 Monday to Friday) 0191 232 6565
Ian Robinson, The Nightshift, BBC Radio Newcastle, Spital Tongues, Newcastle-upon-Tyne NE99 1RN

NOTE
Please bear in mind that the views expressed in this blog are my own and NOT the views of the BBC.

Inga's Santa pic......I LOVE it!

115

J ARTHUR SMALLPIECE
I have noted from the comments to blogposting 114 that there seems to be a demand for me to copy into the blog the esoteric versifying of our esteemed Poet Laureate. I have to tell you that there are two primary reasons why this isn’t going to happen. Firstly, they are copyrighted, albeit to the Dead Poets Society. And secondly, remember that they are not sent to me electronically (as it were) but via snailmail. Believe me, they are far too long for me to copy out verbatim. Perhaps J Arthur might consider emailing them to me if we all ask him really nicely....

Which leads me on to the subject of the man/woman him/herself....

Although I pretend that not knowing the true identity of our Poet Laureate doesn’t bother me, it does. I have, quite literally, lost sleep over it. J Arthur Smallpiece is (I think it is safe to assume - although you never know) a nome-de-poetiste. So is he/she male or female? Local or further-flung? Alive or dead? (That last may sound like a fatuous or even offensive remark, but bear in mind that each of his/her poems is copyrighted ‘Dead Poets Society’, so he/she could be contacting us from beyond the grave, except that I’m not sure the Post Office delivers mail posted there - although you never know about that, either.)

Nothing in Smallpiece’s poetry hints at his/her identity, either. I’ve searched in vain for oblique or even opaque clues; clever references to age, location, background and experience. But there are none to find. He/she covers his/her tracks masterfully/mistressfully. (See how extraordinarily difficult it is to write about someone whose gender you don’t even know?)

I’ve even tried the approach which I imagine would be used by one of my all-time heroes; no, not Margaret Rutherford or St Aidan or E B Lamb but Sherlock Holmes. Assemble all the evidence and, having rejected the impossible, then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.....

So what do we know to be incontrovertibly true about him/her?

He/she is perfectly obviously a person of taste and discrimination. After all, they listen (fairly attentively, it seems to me) to The Nightshift. I suspect that they also read this blog; that they are, indeed, reading it right now!!! What a perfidious thought. It’s brought me out in hives....

What else do we know? Well.......his/her vocabulary is admirably extensive, especially when it comes to intoxicating liquor, fruit and vegetables and adjectives.

He/she has what appears to be an innate sense of rhythm and metre which incorporates an ability to build in quite complex multisyllabic words (like incorporates and multisyllabic) into a strictly and meticulously observed pattern of rhyme and rhythm. His/her abilities in this respect are positively para-Shakespearean.

The subject matter of his/her poems, however, gives nothing away, unless you can infer some hideous truth from the fact the he/she seems to be concerned with pubs, barmaids and rhubarb. So nothing there, then....

You could, I suppose, conclude that he /she is a little behind the times because, firstly, the poems appear to be laboriously typed rather than laboriously word-processed; secondly, they invariably arrive by post rather than via email (and no, these days you can’t necessarily tell where the letter was posted from the postmark). Perhaps the Smallpiece household is computer-free or computer-unfriendly.

Or perhaps J Arthur Smallpiece is too discumknockerated by liquor, lust and rhubarb to be able to operate a computer. We just don’t know....

And I guess we may never know. Our Poet Laureate seems grimly determined to keep his/her true identity forever a secret. And maybe the biggest clue lies there. Perhaps he/she knows we would not be able to cope with the trauma that would follow such a revelation. A famous local politician? A rags-to-riches local tv celeb - perhaps one of a pair? A man of the cloth? A member of the local landed gentry - or even of the Royal Family!!!!

Unless he/she finally reveals all with some glorious flourish of the sort not unknown amongst men of an artistic bent, we must allow him/her to take his/her secret to the grave - or wherever they intend to go when the pubs shut.

CONTACT ME
Post comments on this blog or contact me in any one (or more) of these ways....
ian.robinson@bbc.co.uk
text 07786 200954 (while the programme is on-air)
call (between about 0545 and 0630 Monday to Friday) 0191 232 6565
Ian Robinson, The Nightshift, BBC Radio Newcastle, Spital Tongues, Newcastle-upon-Tyne NE99 1RN

NOTE
Please bear in mind that the views expressed in this blog are my own and NOT the views of the BBC.

114

Yes, you're right Viv - it really does feel like the morning after the night before. In my case, of course, it is! Barry and Jean - my brother and sister-in-law - came over last night and we all over-indulged in birthday party treats and sparkly pink alcoholic stuff (which went down very nicely; too nicely, in fact). I'm told that the picture above was taken just before my partner and party guests put me to bed.

I am genuinely surprised that I managed to get to work this morning at all. If the 'live' half-hour sounded a little...er....ropey - well, now you know why.


The two pictures above are the first two '1 o'clock' pictures - mine and Viv's. (For an explanation of what '1 o'clock' pictures are, see blogpostings passim). I happened to be passing through Philadelphia at 1300 and stopped to take the photograph. The terrace of miners' houses is unique and a preserved site because, as you can see, it's the only terrace in England with a built-in chapel!

Viv obviously loves the birds. Let's hope they've survived the cold snap OK.

And don't forget to look out for waxwings. Apparently, it's going to be a good 'waxwing winter' and they've already started to arrive. They like human company and often flock in public parks, supermarket car parks, private gardens.....

THE NIGHTSHIFT
This weekend's programmes have already been prerecorded. I am on leave until next Thursday, 11 December.

CONTACT ME
Post comments on this blog or contact me in any one (or more) of these ways....
ian.robinson@bbc.co.uk
text 07786 200954 (while the programme is on-air)
call (between about 0545 and 0630 Monday to Friday) 0191 232 6565
Ian Robinson, The Nightshift, BBC Radio Newcastle, Spital Tongues, Newcastle-upon-Tyne NE99 1RN

NOTE
Please bear in mind that the views expressed in this blog are my own and NOT the views of the BBC.

The Lady of Shalott

113

One of my favourite moments in The Railway Children (a film I know and love so much that it features in my blog profile!) occurs when the ‘kindly old gent’ (played by the impeccable William Mervyn) tells the eponymous children, who are alarmed that their exciting lives by the railway line may be disrupted by his plans, that ‘sometimes, amazing and wonderful things do happen...in fact many people live their lives in the hope of them.’

He’s right, of course. Sometimes events conspire to render you utterly and jaw-droppingly speechless. And the build-up to my 60th birthday has been like that. I’ve been knocked flying by an avalanche of cards and by a ‘virtual’ avalanche of emails and txts. I know you probably won’t believe me, but I was genuinely not expecting the tidal wave of goodwill that’s flooded my real and digital pigeonholes at the BBC and here on my Mac at home.

You’re amazing. I’ve run out of ways of paying you compliments; you deserve an on-air friend a very great deal more articulate and inventive than me! Thankyou all - whoever and wherever you are. Or, to paraphrase Uncle Mac....’thankyou, truckshunters - everywhere’.

Of course, after such a build-up there is always the risk of anticlimax; that The Birthday Special turns out to be a bit of a letdown for you. My apologies in advance if it did.

There was never any possibility of anticlimax for me, mind you. I've just got home from the studio, exhilarated and exhausted from this morning's proceedings. Wow!! That is one awesome...er.....nightshirt....

Here are some more of the items on my Project 60/60 list. As with the others, your reactions and ideas are welcome...

60/12
Subscribe to BBC History magazine...
Sometimes I surprise even myself when I consider some of the things I don’t do. Why, with an interest in history that’s been with me since I learned to read and write, do I not already subscribe to a magazine which is probably the best of its kind in the English language?

60/23
Get to know the Netherlands a little more....
Ever since my first visit to Amsterdam six years ago, I’ve been fascinated by the Dutch people and the startlingly unique country they call home. Amsterdam is so seductive, though, that I’ve only ventured outside it once - to visit the charming town of Haarlem nearer the coast. So, as part of Project 60/60, my friend Sue (whose voice you may be familiar with) and I intend to visit Utrecht this year - and to go even further afield in the Netherlands if we can.

60/27
Sentimental Journey: Revisit every address I’ve ever had and take a photograph...
This is the biggie, really, and the one which, in many ways, I’m most looking forward to. Including the hospital in which I was born (it’s now a field!), I have lived at 17 addresses in my life. I intend to revisit each one - mostly, I guess, to stand and stare; to see what memories and thoughts they evoke; to find out if they have the power of association to unlock boxes of whose existence I may be unaware.

Most of my friends and colleagues seem to think that 17 isn’t many addresses to have had in 60 years. What do you think? How many different addresses have you had? And what conclusions do you draw from that fact?

THE LADY OF SHALOTT...
...appears as an act of sheer self-indulgence for my birthday. Not only is it one of my favourite paintings; it's also up there amongst my favourite poems.

CONTACT ME
Post comments on this blog or contact me in any one (or more) of these ways....
ian.robinson@bbc.co.uk
text 07786 200954 (while the programme is on-air)
call (between about 0545 and 0630 Monday to Friday) 0191 232 6565
Ian Robinson, The Nightshift, BBC Radio Newcastle, Spital Tongues, Newcastle-upon-Tyne NE99 1RN

NOTE
Please bear in mind that the views expressed in this blog are my own and NOT the views of the BBC.

Sir Alec Guinness and Stanley Holloway

112

The many people who’ve commented that Project 60/60 is just a glorified canon of New Year resolutions are absolutely spot-on. (Where does the term spot-on come from?) Except that it is ‘glorified’, it starts in two days’ time rather than on January 1 and is intended to be a more life-affirming experience than giving up chocolate or ironing shirts more conscientiously.

Having said that, I do want to try and give up taking sugar in tea and coffee - and to train myself not to loathe any product with Diet or Good For You printed on its packaging quite so much.

I guess the only real difference is that the items on the 60/60 list are ‘grander’ and, with any luck, should make a difference to the way I see and understand Life, the Universe and Everything, as it were.

Anyway, I’m sooooo glad that so many truckshunters and regular nightshifters seem to be ‘in tune’ with Project 60/60; to know why I want to do it and why the items on the list were put there in the first place. Maureen’s certainly plugged into it with...

CATHEDRALS AND THEIR CITIES
A truly magnificent aim, Maureen - to visit every cathedral city in England and Scotland; why not Wales, though? St David’s is a real gem; it takes some getting to but it’s worth it when you finally arrive; a glorious cathedral in what is no more than a tiny village.

For what they’re worth, here are some of my thoughts recalled from my cathedral-bashing days. I’d be very interested to know how they compare to your impressions as you make your way round the country....

Southwell Minster is the cathedral of Nottinghamshire and Southwell is England’s smallest cathedral city. Again, it’s a bit off the beaten track but a real surprise when you get there. Worth every mile.

Another far-flung and (in my opinion) far too neglected masterpiece is Wells in Somerset - cathedral and city. It’s almost breathtakingly sedate, has one of the oldest residential streets of houses in Europe and a priceless ‘chain library’ - a rare mediaeval relic.

I found many celebrated cathedrals a little disappointing. Gloucester, Worcester and Norwich fall into this category, though it’s never easy to say exactly why this should be so. Maybe we’re just too used to the splendour of Durham! None of them seem to ‘dominate’ their cities in a way we would recognise!

Others, though, are genuine surprises. Nothing on earth can prepare you for the ‘shock and awe’ of Ely cathedral, for the ‘oddness’ of Exeter, for the inspired grace of Salisbury, the ‘cosiness’ of Chester, the brashness of Liverpool or the sheer inappropriateness of Manchester, Birmingham and Newcastle cathedrals.

Enjoy them all. They are a very powerful legacy of our spiritual history and all of them, each in its own way, are works of art you can walk around in. As you go, tell us what you think of them, too.

Meanwhile, here are some of the next few items from the Project 60/60 list.

60/5
Begin to build up a DVD collection of ‘Ealing comedies...’
I’m a sucker for them - ALL of them. St Trinian's, Laughter in Paradise, Passport to Pimlico, The Ladykillers, The Titfield Thunderbolt, Lavender Hill Mob, Carlton-Browne of the FO....

60/6
Music: transfer LPs to CD
When you get to my age you’re almost bound to possess whole shelves full of LPs which you never listen to any more. I know it’s possible to transfer them to CD format; I’m just not sure about the best way to do it. But do it I must. Any advice or experience?

60/7
Join 'Silver Screen'
This is the discount movie club on offer to over-60s at our local civic cinema, the Tyneside. I’ll be there when the doors open on December 4 with my birth certificate in my hand....

60/8
Go swimming at least once a fortnight....
Simple, really. Thus...
1) I've always loved swimming - ever since my Nana taught me to swim at Seaton Carew baths.
2) I got out of the habit of swimming many, many years ago.
3) I need a lot more exercise.
4) Newcastle has quite a few good swimming pools.
QED.

CONTACT ME
Post comments on this blog or contact me in any one (or more) of these ways....
ian.robinson@bbc.co.uk
text 07786 200954 (while the programme is on-air)
call (between about 0545 and 0630 Monday to Friday) 0191 232 6565
Ian Robinson, The Nightshift, BBC Radio Newcastle, Spital Tongues, Newcastle-upon-Tyne NE99 1RN

NOTE
Please bear in mind that the views expressed in this blog are my own and NOT the views of the BBC.